Chatty Cathy

A friend of mine was emailing the other day about a funny reaction from a total stranger she started talking to in a parking lot. She and I call this being "Chatty Cathy."

I have always been inclined to talk with strangers, which is kind of funny, since I am generally introverted. When my kids were little they were horrified by my behavior, and even Mary - who was light years ahead of me in the social skills department - would sometimes raise her eyebrows at what I shared with people in stores or on the street.

In my life, the Vatican of Chatty Cathy-ism was Houston. Just walking down the street, complete strangers would converse with me, often at considerable length and about quite personal matters. People were very cheerful about this intercourse, smiling and happy to be running in to me. I thought the Texas cheerfulness I saw from a distance was hokey, but when I actually lived there, it seemed to be quite real and natural. People really were pleased to meet me.

The kids complained most about my trips to the supermarket, where I think the narrow aisles and shared task seemed to make us all members of an exclusive club. It was common for a straightforward visit to take an extra hour because of the "visiting." Once a tiny, elderly African American lady hiked up her shirt to show me a scar that illustrated her long dissertation on health issues.

My dad Sid was a grand master of CC-ism

One day outside my bank a man in the best western clothes - a string tie on a bright green shirt with pearl buttons, and bright silver tips on his cowboy boots - stopped me, slapped me on both arms, and said, "I know we'll most likely never agree on religion or politics, but we can still be friends, right?" Then he just sauntered off to the parking lot.

Here in Maine public communication with strangers is lower key, but I'm not sure it's really less warm and friendly. People seem to initiate fewer conversations it's true, but when I speak up, I'm almost always greeted with openness and even a sense of gratitude for the conversation.

I have a theory that this kind of spontaneous connection with strangers is on the increase. And the reason might be, because so much of our lives is pre-sliced. Mediated. Digitized. Predicted, marketed to, placed on a flow chart. We are all of us demographic segments, obedient and compliant. Spontaneous connections with strangers - high church Chatty Cathyism - feel reassuring, more under our own control, not part of anyone's plan. A life that is owned, not leased.

Not everyone I visit with welcomes my witticisms and salutations. But most do. The smiles are real. I doubt CC-ism will save the world. But it sure seems to make it a nicer place to be in. Safer, brighter, more hopeful.

Nice meeting you!