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1. Your central and first step is to ask a question – sometimes a group of people can do this together: “What, in one brief sentence, are we doing?” Answering a question seems to help, and groups often come up with the right words when one person is stuck.
2. If you put 50 percent of your LOI effort into the summary, half of that effort should be directed toward writing a brilliant opening sentence. I really mean this. If you earmark four hours for writing your letter of inquiry, then you should work on the summary for two hours, an hour of which is just laboring over, and coming back to, that first sentence.
3. Learn from, but don't emulate, professional marketers. That is, make your prose interesting, riveting if you can. But don't write something that sounds like you're selling dish soap. Like professional marketers, you need to know your audience and then create a tone best suiting your purpose. You want the foundation to “buy” your product but without seeming like your goal is selling instead of creating a partnership.
4. Avoid the sticky pit of buzzwords. Don't claim your work is “unique” or “cutting edge” or "raises awareness." Words and phrases like these are (a) unsupported general claims or (b) impossible to know or verify. And beware of flowery adjectives and vague generalities. They don't create an impression of competence, and they won't cause your LOI to stand out from the pile of pithy prose.
5. Instead, let your summary be filled with facts, concrete verbs, and sentences that show action. Emulate the writing of good journalists in mainstream newspapers: be an objective- seeming reporter who lets words create a response, rather than manipulating, exhorting, or lecturing the reader. In journalism school they teach, “Show, don't tell.”