What I like about the paper and plastic conundrum is how it has evolved. First we eschewed plastic for paper, until we learned that this destroys forests and the paper doesn't decompose in landfill. Now we all march into the store with our own bags, made out of toxic crap in sweatshops in China.....And we fans of being whipsawed can find so many other occasions. I take many medications for my myasthenia gravis, and some that I take together have big warning stickers: TAKE WITH FOOD, and, TAKE ON AN EMPTY STOMACH.
Today I did Thanksgiving shopping Part 2. Yesterday was at the food coop, I can always handle that place. But in the enormous supermarkets, I've been using the electric carts. I'm grateful for the mobility, but I otherwise do not like that mode of shopping. Today I did the whole extensive stocking up on my feet. This brings up one of the biggest myasthenia conundrums: we are told, rest at every possible opportunity. And, we are also told: get plenty of exercise. Maybe I'm too literal-minded. Anyway I came home tired and with hands and feet swollen up like The Hulk, but I did the shopping by myself with no cart for the first time in many weeks, and I'm delighted.
I think many of these seeming conundrums are difficult to unpack partly because they conceal hidden agendas. In the case of me having trouble figuring out the rest-exercise thing, the more essential agenda is about risk taking. That script goes something like, don't sit around feeling sorry for yourself - get out there and live life. Be in the moment. Be active, etc. The contrary series of admonitions is: for crying out loud, learn to ask for help, take care - STOP TAKING SO MANY RISKS. I live alone in the aforementioned salt marsh and I have trouble breathing and walking and sometimes, holding my head up enough to see. How can I navigate the throngs of people who tell me to stop trying to do everything myself, but also to live my life to the fullest while I can.
Remember how it was for Mary, they all seem to be telling me......
The Salt Marsh in Early Autumn
